One of the dumbest actions in my life was done in front of my Dad and several of my brothers.
I was very athletic in my youth; I guess most people would say I was a tomboy. I played softball, volleyball, basketball, ran track, walked fences, climbed trees, etc. I loved to water ski but I had bad eyesight and skiing was the one sport activity that limited my comfort and ability to excel. As I moved into my high school years I became reluctant to ski because the lake seemed to have too many people on it and I just did not see well enough to feel safe. If I did ski I refused to fall out of fear. Dad would keep going until I would leave the wake, swing around to the side of the boat, and signal I was ready to stop. Dad would find a good place for me to let go; I would know the spot by him slowing the boat.
The last time I skied I was a senior in high school. After school one afternoon Dad came home early, we loaded up the boat, and headed out to Lake Grapevine. My brothers were all very good skiers. My brother, Steve, was a clown on skis and on this particular day I felt a little bravado after he skied and made us laugh. When it was my turn I decided I would goof around and make the guys laugh a little bit, too. I was on two skis and thought it would be funny if I bounced my butt up and down on the water and pretended to be a skiing drunk.
The second I lowered my butt into the water I knew I had made a mistake. The fact that my arms were nearly yanked off of my body was the first indication – but I held on. The second indication was that my bathing suit bottom rapidly filled with water, and from the drag of it, I had also picked up a bass and maybe a carp, or two. I could not stand up. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stand up again. I did not dare let go of the rope because I could not see where I was, nor the boat, because a plume of water was coming up between my legs and shooting into my face and over my head making visibility a tad bit more difficult. I held on. The bathing suit bottom took all it could and then settled into a place I had spent most of my life keeping undergarments out of. Did you know that you can blister your butt cheeks if traveling bare assed at a high rate of speed across water? I could not move out of the wake to go around to the side of the boat as my signal to Dad that I was ready to stop skiing. I nearly drowned, while still on two skis above water, and being dragged around the lake, at least ten times, before Dad just stopped the boat. My hands had to be pried from the rope handle. Dad told me he was afraid he was going to run out of gas before I got too tired to stop. I think that is what he said; it was hard to tell through his laughter.
I know what you are thinking. I have brothers, and trust me, I heard all of the jokes that crudely relate to a ‘summers eve’.
I never skied again.
