There are two things that bother me that I want to be perfectly clear on before my demise, not that I predict this happening in the near future; I just prefer to plan ahead.
The first item is what I want written on my headstone when I pass, assuming that I am laid to rest and not cremated. There are so many choices to use that could sum up my life. In an effort to assist any bereaved family members I have narrowed it down to the three choices, listed below, that I think will aptly apply:
If I am here with underwear on I WILL NOT cross over.
Yes, I am STILL mooning you.
Damn.
As previously mentioned, I am not planning on passing soon, but I do not like surprises and would, most assuredly, haunt those responsible for 'Here lies, Marta, AKA K-Marta and Wal-Marta.'
The second item that bothers me is the use of spell corrector on some cell phones. Under no circumstances do I want my headstone ordered via cell phone! I would be most unhappy to be buried under the words ‘Rest in Peach’ or a variation of the above mentioned choices that might read as:
If I am herpe with underwater on I WILL NOW croon oven.
Yes, I am STILT mooing you.
Dump.
My sister has it in her Will that I am not to do her makeup if she goes first. Yes, I probably would put purple eye shadow on her if given the chance.
So, this is going public on my blog, in my Will, and may be published in the newspaper every time I get a cramp, heartburn, or a good haircut (which would be a sure sign that something BIG is about to happen).
Not that I do not trust you….
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