Hot Pants

When I was nineteen going braless was the norm and hot pants were the fashion rage.  Hot pants were mini boxy shorts with a matching top. My favorite outfit was a red, faux satin, material. The top buttoned up the front with six tiny, faux satin, covered buttons. I wore this outfit with control top support pantyhose, to keep some jiggle out of my wiggle, and tall, wedge heels.

A gold charm bracelet was my hot pant accessory for a night out, with my friend, Pam, to the Carswell Air Force Base NCO Club. The bracelet, unknown to me at the time, had a bad loop that held one of the charms. While in a stall in the ladies room at the club, I reached behind me and into my pantyhose, to up the ante on the seat of them. The loop on my bracelet caught inside the hose in the general area of halfway down my butt crack; I could not get it loose. I tried to reach it with the other hand, but, when you’ve leaned as far as you can, backward, and reached inside of your pantyhose, to obtain a good grip, the other hand will not reach the first hand. These were steel belted control tops and the gold loop refused to loosen its hold. It is impossible to pull tight pantyhose down, while leaning backward, with one hand caught behind your back in a small ladies room stall!

I learned that evening that women will not assist a hot, young blonde while she is leaning, awkwardly, with her wrist resting in her butt crack and her hot pants pooled down around her ankles. I, eventually, did pull the bracelet loose but it left a large hole in the middle of the pantyhose ass crack  area.

Any woman who has ever worn support pantyhose knows that what you have carefully squeezed into them will begin to slowly ooze out of a hole. When I left the ladies room it appeared that I had a large hamburger bun stuck in the seat of my satiny pants.

While gesturing, and trying to explain my butt bulge to Pam, the same bracelet (from hell) caught the front of my outfit and those stupid little satin covered buttons slipped out of their button holes. I flashed my bare boobs to two hundred guys, and Pam, in the NCO Club.

I loved the applause!  I am sure that if I did not have, by this time, BOTH butt cheeks fighting to ooze out the hole in my drawers, I would have danced all night.